For the first time ever, I’ve seen two adverts cable-tied to lamposts for ‘plasterer for hire’.  In the past it has been difficult to get any tradesman.

Meanwhile locally I see a new letting office open up, I have no idea where they are going to make their money as no one wants to rent or buy to rent.  It’s also in an area where rentals are probably on the low side.  You figure.

Meanwhile I see the Party shop in dennistoun closed (no surprise), the wool and crafts shop close locally (that was a no-brainer as it was wrong location, wrong market, wrong everything).  In fact I’ve seen several other businesses stop recently too, but just can’t remember their names.

Batten down the hatches, we’re in for a stormy one.

Anyway some customers come in the shop…the orders go like :

- large donner and chips

- lamb curry, fried rice

I didn’t see any healthy option there.  Meanwhile I munch on my chicken kebab and garlic bread.   Maybe next time I’ll get some chapatis as they’re low fat too.

But it’s true to say Glasgow sucks for health – even a recent article in the Daily Record  toughted how it seemed ‘unnatural’ to go 2 days without alcohol and chippy/curry is OK.  Bob Shields, you are a nugget.

‘ho nugget’

 It’s common banter in our capital (yes, Glasgow is the capital of Scotland, not that toffy nosed edinburger).

Over the years we’ve had ‘ya tube’ and ‘ya knob’ and even ‘ya prick’.  But ‘ya nugget’ is gripping hold of the Glasgow nation – even some dogs are named ‘nugget’ as can be seen on the RSPCA web site.

 So nuggets, till next time, I’ll rip ya jaw!

Back in the Bronx gym, the attendant left the gym in the capable hands of the members while he departed somewhere….I mean we could’ve started stealing all the protein drinks etc.?!!?!

Fortunately, someone came in to take over within 5 minutes…another member!  But with hierachial importance.

For once we’re specifically going to George Square on Saturday to see the lights….my dad used to take me in each Christmas typically up to the age of about 6 or 7.  Ah, hopefully there won’t be any neds and everything will be merry.

 It’s no wonder Glasgowegians drink so much, you need to numb your body (and common sense) from the cold.

 On yerself John, if it wasn’t for you the LONE COPPER at Glasgow airport might’ve had his hands full.

Old guy : ‘I’m chucking this binge drinking every Sunday night’

Other old guy : ‘I know but it’s hard’.

Old guy : ‘Aye I know, you have 1 whisky…that’s nice’

Old guy :’You have another one, that’s great’

Old guy ‘ then you have 3, 4, 5….then it’s brilliant’

Other old guy ‘aye I know it’s great’.

 What a fookin’ attitude to alcohol!!!!

But it’s sadly the case….

Guy with scar on his face : ‘Where’s your partner in crime today?’

<translation : where is your usual training partner>

Fat guy : ‘He was in the motor wi the wife.  I canny be arsed with him.’

<translation : my friend has been promised sex from the wife so he is cancelling the scheduled gym visit>

Fat guy : ‘I canny be arsed with this today.  Ma guts are dodgy.  My ma keeps putting all this olive oil in my food’.

<translation : I am a lazy fat man who still lives at home with his mum.  She’s been feeding me healthy food and I feel sick from saturated fat and sodium withdrawal>

Fat guy : ‘I really wanted to go for a….swim or someink’ 

Guy with scar on his face : ‘where do you go?’

Fat guy : ‘Gorbals’

<translation : the ghetto gym, junkies surround it and the smell of cigarette smoke inside is normal>

Guy with scar on his face : ‘I know a guy who goes there a lot.  He knows the manager so gets in for a couple of quid’

<translation : everything in Glasgow is jobs for the boys or favours for your pals.  As a result, the council owned gym gives out free or cheap admission unofficially to favoured ‘friends’ of the management.  We the tax payer soak up the shortfall>

Fat guy : ‘I like to use the sauna there.  But I’d like an ‘assisted’ sauna today…don’t get paid till the end of the month though’

<translation : I’d like to visit the brothel (sauna) for a bj and a rubdown as soon as finances allow>

Guy with scar on his face : ‘Ha ha ha’

<translation : I was there yesterday getting my nuts fondled>