Nuggets for the dole queue
July 10, 2008
It had to come – the labourer force of Scotland is feeling the pinch with new housing construction grinding to a halt.
For the first time ever, I’ve seen two adverts cable-tied to lamposts for ‘plasterer for hire’. In the past it has been difficult to get any tradesman.
Meanwhile locally I see a new letting office open up, I have no idea where they are going to make their money as no one wants to rent or buy to rent. It’s also in an area where rentals are probably on the low side. You figure.
Meanwhile I see the Party shop in dennistoun closed (no surprise), the wool and crafts shop close locally (that was a no-brainer as it was wrong location, wrong market, wrong everything). In fact I’ve seen several other businesses stop recently too, but just can’t remember their names.
Batten down the hatches, we’re in for a stormy one.
The kebab shop experiment
June 4, 2008
Kebabs aren’t bad for you. I have a little fetish for donner kebab. But after reading a large donner can have 111g of saturated fat, I decided to switch off to lean chicken.
Anyway some customers come in the shop…the orders go like :
- large donner and chips
- lamb curry, fried rice
I didn’t see any healthy option there. Meanwhile I munch on my chicken kebab and garlic bread. Maybe next time I’ll get some chapatis as they’re low fat too.
But it’s true to say Glasgow sucks for health – even a recent article in the Daily Record toughted how it seemed ‘unnatural’ to go 2 days without alcohol and chippy/curry is OK. Bob Shields, you are a nugget.
Nugget – the new word from glesga
April 2, 2008
‘Ya nugget’
‘ho nugget’
It’s common banter in our capital (yes, Glasgow is the capital of Scotland, not that toffy nosed edinburger).
Over the years we’ve had ‘ya tube’ and ‘ya knob’ and even ‘ya prick’. But ‘ya nugget’ is gripping hold of the Glasgow nation – even some dogs are named ‘nugget’ as can be seen on the RSPCA web site.
So nuggets, till next time, I’ll rip ya jaw!
The Bronx gym…
January 10, 2008
I’ve always said things are laxadasical in Glasgow or even Scotland. “It’ll do” attitude.
Back in the Bronx gym, the attendant left the gym in the capable hands of the members while he departed somewhere….I mean we could’ve started stealing all the protein drinks etc.?!!?!
Fortunately, someone came in to take over within 5 minutes…another member! But with hierachial importance.
Looking forward to seeing the lights in George Square…
December 12, 2007
For once we’re specifically going to George Square on Saturday to see the lights….my dad used to take me in each Christmas typically up to the age of about 6 or 7. Ah, hopefully there won’t be any neds and everything will be merry.
The sun shines, the shirts come off…
October 19, 2007
As soon as the sun comes out…even if it’s October…the locals all get their tops off.
It’s no wonder Glasgowegians drink so much, you need to numb your body (and common sense) from the cold.
John Smeaton apprehended one of the terrorists who attacked Glasgow airport.
On yerself John, if it wasn’t for you the LONE COPPER at Glasgow airport might’ve had his hands full.
The cloudy city…..
June 22, 2007
…grey and dismal. Even in the summer. A few miles away it might rain…no surprise it isn’t raining a few miles from that point. Yes, it’s the unpredictable weather. Scottish weather sucks at best but Glasgow weather is just nuts…..the best we can hope for is cloudy and humid.
Another Glasgow conversation
June 6, 2007
Yet again, I was down the gym in the harder part of town.
Old guy : ‘I’m chucking this binge drinking every Sunday night’
Other old guy : ‘I know but it’s hard’.
Old guy : ‘Aye I know, you have 1 whisky…that’s nice’
Old guy :’You have another one, that’s great’
Old guy ‘ then you have 3, 4, 5….then it’s brilliant’
Other old guy ‘aye I know it’s great’.
What a fookin’ attitude to alcohol!!!!
But it’s sadly the case….
Classic Glasgow conversation
May 24, 2007
Was in the gym today in the East (rough) end. Conversation between two gym members :
Guy with scar on his face : ‘Where’s your partner in crime today?’
<translation : where is your usual training partner>
Fat guy : ‘He was in the motor wi the wife. I canny be arsed with him.’
<translation : my friend has been promised sex from the wife so he is cancelling the scheduled gym visit>
Fat guy : ‘I canny be arsed with this today. Ma guts are dodgy. My ma keeps putting all this olive oil in my food’.
<translation : I am a lazy fat man who still lives at home with his mum. She’s been feeding me healthy food and I feel sick from saturated fat and sodium withdrawal>
Fat guy : ‘I really wanted to go for a….swim or someink’
Guy with scar on his face : ‘where do you go?’
Fat guy : ‘Gorbals’
<translation : the ghetto gym, junkies surround it and the smell of cigarette smoke inside is normal>
Guy with scar on his face : ‘I know a guy who goes there a lot. He knows the manager so gets in for a couple of quid’
<translation : everything in Glasgow is jobs for the boys or favours for your pals. As a result, the council owned gym gives out free or cheap admission unofficially to favoured ‘friends’ of the management. We the tax payer soak up the shortfall>
Fat guy : ‘I like to use the sauna there. But I’d like an ‘assisted’ sauna today…don’t get paid till the end of the month though’
<translation : I’d like to visit the brothel (sauna) for a bj and a rubdown as soon as finances allow>
Guy with scar on his face : ‘Ha ha ha’
<translation : I was there yesterday getting my nuts fondled>
